I often wonder…

I often wonder, when people see me what do they think. I am not paranoid, nor will I live for the opinions of others. But still, I find myself wondering.

What do my parents see when they look at me? When I talk to friends, what do they hear in my words? When I console someone in need, what do they see in my eyes. If I scream and shout at someone when they try to insult me, is it annoyance or admiration they feel? As strangers catch site of me, do they see a reckless youth or something else? When I talk to someone over the internet, do they believe my words or write them off as senseless flattery? 

At night before I sleep this is what constantly plays through my head. What were they thinking? Why was that said? How did they feel?

In the end I’ll never know. But even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything. I am me, I have my own morals, ideals and beliefs. Nothing will ever change that. I will not allow anything or anyone to change me.