Can’t Explain

I can’t explain how I feel at the moment about heading away to university. Well that’s not entirely correct, I can explain but it’s just so much.

Aprehension

What if people don’t like me? I spent 6 years of dealing with passive aggressive assholes I don’t want to do whatever I did the first time again. I wan’t the new people to like me. 

Nervous

I’ve never lived on my own before. What if something comes up that I can’t handle? I could be robbed or break a bone or who knows what. What if I don’t like my roommates?

Excited

I can’t wait to go, to experience life on my own. To meet new people, hopefully make new friends. I’ll get a fresh start and be able to truly be myself, no more hiding in the closet.

Worried

How do I deal with coming out to my old friends from school who are going to the same university as me?

Happy

I don’t have to repeat.

Proud

I made it to university

All in all, I’m probably being whiny. But I just feel weird, I can’t wait to go and yet I’m worried. Oh well, no stopping it now, here I come university.

17-7-2011

I live very close to a campsite, in quite a scenic location. So that means everyday there are lots of strangers walking along the roads around my house. Today like most other days I brought my dog for a walk. No matter what, I always try to say hi or hello to the people I meet, whether I know them or not. I’m always amazed by their reactions. Some will look away instantly and outright ignore my greeting. I can only assume that they’ve realized, yes I am a teenager and as such I’m clearly going to mug them. Others will return the greeting but their eyes glare at me, warning me not to pursue any further conversation. The rest all try, with varying degrees of success, to mask their surprise at the greeting. They then reply in kind before promptly walking past.

It’s kind of horrible to think that we as a society are terrified of talking to strangers. How long before we start to favor isolation over any form of communication?

I have never seen a critics review of a movie, that I have agreed with.

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