Tumblr Anons dared me to sing. I took that challenge…eventually.

This of course all runs under the meagre assumptions that what I write actually gets read someday.

I built this brilliant character in my head, or at least I thought I did. He was handsome, witty and outright brilliant. He does commit some awful atrocities though. He can be brutal, he is cold. I’m only after realising I based him on someone I used to have an interest in. I didn’t imagine him. He is exactly who he is. It would be obvious to anyone who knew him and read. Is it unethical to use him?

7 Notes / Reblog

Who am I?

I just finished re-reading the very first ten pages of my blog. I’m shocked by how dark they are, how unhappy with life I was. But more than that, it feels like I’m reading writings that belong to a different person. I’ve changed so much. The boy who started this blog was shy and depressed but ambitious, determined and intelligent.

The boy who controls it now is definitely neither shy nor depressed. But am I still ambitious, determined and intelligent? Can I change as drastically as I did in such a short amount of time and still retain a portion of who I was. Or have I truly reinvented myself? Is the old sparrow gone, replaced by something else. Or have I simply grown.

It is an odd revelation to realize how little I know about myself and who I am. Were someone to ask me to describe myself, I would struggle. No, more than that. I would fail. I have no idea who I am and clearly I’ve forgotten who I was. That past pain, I don’t remember it. Those bitter words, I can’t recall them.

How does one go about figuring out who they are? Shouldn’t I know myself better than anyone else? So why does it feel like Shane is someone I don’t know? What drives him? What makes him who he is? Why does he react how he does? These are questions I cannot answer because at the root of it all, they remain the same. Who am I?

23 Notes / Reblog