My boyfriend gave me my Christmas present. It was a beautiful scarf wrapped in Salamance paper, with loads of pictures of puppies and Sparrowhawk’s mixed in with a page of info on the Sparrowhawk. I am genuinely so touched, it was so thoughtful.
I was trying to write tumblr blog when my dog jumped on me. I thought he was possessed. He’s just pissed off because we brought him to get his hair trimmed:P
The Future Seems So Near and Yet So Far
My relationship with the future is a very strange one indeed. In my opinion the future and making decisions is like meeting a dog on an old country road. Sometimes this dog is snarling and viscous as it chases you through brambles and paths you don’t know. Other times the dog is timid and quick to flee, proving itself incredibly agile and illusive as it sprints away from you leading you in every direction but the one you want to take.
The funny thing about the dog , the future, is that even if it never manages to actually catch you, it still succeeds really. For no matter what, you will undoubtedly encounter obstacles as you flee from the dog. Obstacles in the form of decisions and choices that you may not want to make, may not feel ready to make. But in your haste to avoid the future you will make those decisions in an instant and worry about the consequences later.
To me the future nearly always feels too close, like the dog’s breathing down my neck, like it’s almost got me. Who knows what will happen when the future finally catches me? Maybe I’ll be happy that the chase is over and I can finally rest, or maybe I’ll be disappointed that I didn’t try harder, that I didn’t run just a little bit faster and for a little bit longer.
The future is obviously unbiased and fair, yet I always feel like it’s against you. Think about it, as soon as you set your mind on a deadline, a target or a decision, that’s when you realise how difficult that particular target, decision or deadline is to achieve and obtain. It’s like as soon as you decide to stop running and let the dog catch you, that is the instant the dog yelps in fear and sprints away from you. Even as you chase it with every ounce of energy you can muster, you know deep down somewhere that you will never catch it as you intended to. You will never be able to hold it still because the future is always moving, always changing.
The future is quite the attention seeker though, isn’t it? Particularly to a student, it makes itself impossible for us to ignore in our own day to day lives. Around every corner the dog is ready to pounce, in every conversation it’s bark echoes. A student’s life revolves around the future. What subjects are you picking? Where do you want to go to college? What job do you want? The dog chases you into these life changing decisions which you hastily make and then runs from you if you suddenly realise you need to alter a previous choice.
So what’s happening right now? Well right now I’m chasing quite an illusive dog. I must admit I’m not entirely sure why I’m chasing it. It may take some time to catch the dog, but I’ve set my mind to doing it. So I know one day I’ll corner the dog and I know then that once I do, for a few bliss filled moments at least, my fingers will graze the dog’s glossy fur coat.