I’m not good with compliments. Actually, that’s an understatement, I’m downright awful. To be honest, I’ve never been fully sure why, the only certainty I have, is that when it comes to compliments, I fail in every sense. I can’t receive compliments because my initial thought is that the person giving them is at best lying and at worst manipulating me, or trying to make me the butt of some joke. So I shrug the compliments off, I never return them and if someone is persistent or repetitive in their “praise”, I ask them to cease.
The reverse is also true. I am awful at giving compliments to others, to the point that, I rarely do, if at all. The words do not feel genuine when they come from my mouth, no matter how sincere the thought behind them may have been. Pleasantries and complimentary phrases, tumble from my throat, and feel hollow in the air, leaving an awkward tension in their wake.
Compliments are things I simply do not understand. Those I admire or enjoy know of my feelings regardless, or, at least I hope they do.